When looking for extra cash that I may have forgotten about the  first place I go is to the dryer, just in case I might have washed some by mistake it would have ended up in a pile along with other belongings I never meant to wash. This past week I used my dryer money, the change in my car, and emptied out the bottom of my purse. Near the end of available resources I started to reach for my emergency credit card. Now listen I did have a very expensive past two weeks I needed two new tires on my car, I had to make a down payment on my daughter’s tuition for school, and pay the detectable on my car insurance after accidentally hitting a deer. My emergency credit card has been in my wallet unused sense last winter. With it in my hand all I could think about was if I use it my next payday will not go as far and I will be in a similar situation two weeks from now. I did make it until payday with out charging anything on it, then canceled the card. Now I need to look for new ways to save money.

They last few weeks/months have been hard on me and I can not pin point why. My husband continually asks me what would make me happy and my reply is always the same I am not unhappy.

The town that I am a part of is not among the largest of cities but when I compare it to where I grew up it is a big town. I had always wondered what living in the city would feel like. What I have learn is that the larger the city the smaller you feel.

“If there is one thing that I really need to improve on, it is the size that I think in.”           - Amie

My thought smashing gremlin acts on the first sign of weakness. Cutting my brainstorm sessions short. Leaving me only to believe that my thought was far short from a real idea and should be referred to as a dream and nothing more. I have been working with my gremlin, taming him with my own self confidence. Allowing me to think big thoughts and then rethink them even bigger.

I remember being taught that people as a whole we want too much. That our lives were built upon having more, more anything. More mustard on our burgers, more lines on our post-it notes, even more holes in our designer jeans. Just never satisfied. Then later in my teen years and early adult life I made a commitment to being content. I was so driven by my commitment that I felt  if I wanted anything extra in my life just because, well just because. I had an instant gut sinking feeling of guilt. The idea at first was sincere.  In my mind I was to be a better person as a result of it and live a more satisfying life through contentment.  Like most of my original ideas the end result was nothing like I had first imagined. Instead of it adding to my self worth (living this life without wishing for a new or bigger one). I began to have difficulty dreaming of a life beyond a 4 door sedan, or a paycheck job. Vanity was not the only problem with my plan it also left no room to improve as a person, because in order to grow in knowledge and ability at first we need to want to. New plan want in moderation and with purpose.

When life is at it’s best I am too scare to live it. When troubles are piling up I feel tough enough to take on anything. So now I am wondering if the secret to power is risk?

Fate as I know it, has a great and often cruel sense of humor. Like many of you I have spent some time being the brunt end of the joke. Laughing to hide tears or pretending that I meant for that something to happen.

Because I snore has become my answer for many of my life’s ups and downs. Failed relationships … Because I snore.  Over weight…. Because I snore… Bad hair…. Because I snore…. Over tired… Because I am not the only one that does.

So now that you have an idea what do you do with it? No matter if your idea is about how to save money for your dream car, or how to fit more in your hallway closet your idea has value. Some ideas can be utilized as is and in the moment. Others require a second thought and maybe a little preplanning. Either way value it, it’s your idea.

Having the ability to dream has to be one of the greatest gifts that God has given us. Having the commitment to live them out is what sets us apart from the rest.